Setting the Stage

Revisiting ‘In the Heat of a Meltdown’


As children grow and continue to develop their own independence, parents are in a unique position to offer mentoring support. Children learn to count on their parents to provide feedback and encouragement while navigating the many rites of passage to come!

The definition of mentoring highlighted by the hosts of the Science of Parenting: a mentor is someone who provides support, guidance, friendship, and respect to a child. Growing and developing is hard work, so mentoring kids along the way can help them learn about our desired expectations and behaviors. Mentoring is about helping kids reach their full potential, which includes mistakes and tears and successes and smiles.

Mentoring looks different at each life stage.

  • Toddlers may need more boundaries and limits along with help in emotion management.
  • Preschoolers will enjoy getting to make choices that come with their blooming independence.
  • School-age children may need mentoring assistance as they adjust to school and work on homework assignments.
  • Parents who have teens in the home will want to keep the lines of communication open as the teen years can be times of strong emotion and the onset of puberty. Mentoring teens through curfew, teenage friendships, and learning life skills like cleaning, handling money, and home & car care is essential.

The largest role we play is setting the stage so that our kids can launch with skills and abilities that serve them as they live on their own! In each life stage, parental monitoring provides the guidance, encouragement, and support necessary for growing independence.

Barb Dunn Swanson

Barb Dunn Swanson

With two earned degrees from Iowa State University, Barb is a Human Sciences Specialist utilizing her experience working alongside communities to develop strong youth and families! With humor and compassion, she enjoys teaching, listening and learning to learn!

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